On Christianity and Penguins

Ah the penguin. Man’s best friend. Well, not really, but we all love a good penguin. It waddles, it flaps, it does that cute thing where it shuffles the egg under that random flap of skin, they fly and holiday in South America. Yes, there’s nothing quite like a good penguin. But alas, there are some out there who want to ruin the innocence of our beloved penguins, and use them for a political agenda. I refer of course to none other than the Christian right. 

In 2006, the film March of the Penguins was released. It was a great documentary about penguins and their migration patterns in relation to chick-rearing and mating behaviour. Anybody would love the film for its cinematography and interesting content, if not for the fact that the awesome voice of Morgan Freeman narrating. Nevertheless, some members of the Christian right decided a point needed to be made, that penguins are not just cute, but moral. Yes, penguins are apparently the epitome of morality.

However, a recent story came to my attention which I think might change the minds of some Christians who spoke too soon and didn’t do their research before they made these claims. In fact, it is my hypothesis that those same Christians who claimed penguins = morality, must now admit that homosexuality = morality. If not, I fear they risk appearing like hypocrites. Which isn’t usually an issue for them, but hopefully will be when they discover this penguiny truth.

 

PENGUINS ARE GAY

Yes, that’s right. Gay penguins are apparently settling in with each other in a wide range of international zoos. This story from the UK’s Telegraph:

“Gay penguins steal eggs from straight couples”

A couple of gay penguins are attempting to steal eggs from straight birds in an effort to become “fathers”, it has been reported. The two penguins have started placing stones at the feet of parents before waddling away with their eggs, in a bid to hide their theft.

“One of the responsibilities of being a male adult is looking after the eggs. Despite this being a biological impossibility for this couple, the natural desire is still there,” a keeper told the Austrian Times newspaper.

Wow, so males of a species might have a natural desire for children even if they aren’t able to procreate with their chosen mate? Who’d have thunk it?! The story goes on to look at some other examples, including one where gay penguins were coerced into “turning straight”:

A German zoo provoked outrage from gay lobby groups after attempting to mate a group of gay male penguins with Swedish female birds who were flown in especially to seduce them. But the project was abandoned after the males refused to be “turned”, showing no interest in their would-be mates. In 2002 a couple of penguins at a New York zoo who had been together for eight years were “outed” when keepers noticed that they were both males.

So wait, being gay might be something natural for them? And maybe being straight isn’t just a “different lifestyle choice” for them? Surely there are no other examples of homosexuality in the animal kingdom, right? Well in fact gay activity has been seen in swans, seagulls, elephants, giraffes, dolphins, lions, sheep, hyenas, dragonflies, and more. But let’s go back to the penguins. Since penguins are moral creatures according to Christians, and penguins can be gay, then being gay must be moral. Penguin society = moral Some penguins = gay and part of penguin society Gay penguins = moral Now obviously once this post is read by those who hailed March of the Penguins as the second coming, they’ll realise that being gay is A-OK, and all the bigotry will disappear… right?     ..Right?